Monday, March 28, 2011

Scarred for life

For those of you who don't know my mom, she loves a good practical joke. And who else should she play jokes on other than her 3 innocent little children. One of her most favorite kind of practical joke is to jump out and scare her unsuspecting children. You never knew where she would be hiding. She could be behind any corner, and you would be walking toward her unaware of the danger ahead. All of the sudden she would jump out and scare the pee right out of you!

There are so many stories I could tell, but here are just a few. We had moved into and old farm house when I was I think around 8 years old. This house needed a lot of work, but my dad being the amazing that he is has made that house look awesome. For three of the years during the remodel I was without a bed room. Not fun for a high school age girl. I would either make my bed on the couch or bring out a foam mattress and sleep on the floor. I was unaware that my mother had been watching me and learning my night time routine. I would make up my bed, go wash my face and brush my teeth, and then turn the lights out and crawl into bed. On one such night I did my nightly routine and crawled in to bed and to my horror felt something in my bed. The house is pitch black and I can't see what it is, all I know is that there is something in my bed. It's a good thing there wasn't anything close that I could use to pummel whatever was in the bed. I heard the hysterical laughing and knew my mother was at it again. You can bet I double checked my bed every time after that to make sure nothing was hiding in there. It would take a long time for my heart rate to come down and finally be able to fall asleep.

Another one of my mother's finest moments: We had just pulled in the driveway. It was pitch black outside. My mom is still sitting in the drivers seat and waits until all of us kids have gotten out of the car and stars yelling, "What is that! What is that out there!" We live in the country and I have had this fear of being drug off by animals into the darkness and never being heard from again. I couldn't get into that car fast enough. I think I even locked the doors. Animals can open car doors you know! When I heard the very distinctive sound of my mother's hysterical laughter I knew that she got us again. There are so many more stories I could tell but you get the hint of how I lived my childhood.

All of the times that I have been scared in my younger days has made me a very jumpy person.  My husband is constantly scaring me and he doesn't even mean to. He is a really quiet person and I won't even hear him come into the room. I will just turn around and he will be there, or he will say something in that deep voice of his and scare the bejeebers right out of me. As I am yelling at him or he is dodging whatever it is I throw at him for scaring me, he says, "Couldn't you hear me coming?" No, I didn't! The man makes no noise whatsoever when he walks. I don't think his feet really even touch the ground! He just hovers! I did not come from a quiet family whatsoever. I think I am going to tie a bell around his neck or make him walk around with a packet of tic tacs in his pocket (name that show).

You would think that now that I have children I would know that scaring them is not a good idea and can cause them to turn into very jumpy adults. But I just can't help my self! I one time accidentally scared Connor and it was all over for me. The look on his face and the way he jumped off the ground was too much to not want to see again. So, now my children get to live in fear of what corner mom by be hiding behind next. All I have to say is that I learned from the best, so watch out kids!

6 comments:

  1. Amy I dont know what you are talking about! You know I was a perfect mother and if you choose to scare your precious babies dont blame me. when you least expect it, expect it. hehe

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  2. apparently my mother was signed in as me when she wrote her comment

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  3. Compulsive Scare Disorder....I love CSD! You started me planning again. This weekend I got Andy Ross to scream very impressively!

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  4. I don't float over the ground intentionally, lets be clear about that. It would be part cool and part scary. Kinda like "Back to the future" Hoverboard cool and "Poltergeist" scary all at the same time. I have also tried announcing my presence, that scares her just as much. I'm doomed whether or not I channel my inner moccasin.

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  5. I absolutely loved story #2 .. that was hilarious. ( knew Cara would get a buzz reading that )it's right up her alley :D

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  6. This makes me laugh really really hard!!

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