Monday, March 28, 2011

Scarred for life

For those of you who don't know my mom, she loves a good practical joke. And who else should she play jokes on other than her 3 innocent little children. One of her most favorite kind of practical joke is to jump out and scare her unsuspecting children. You never knew where she would be hiding. She could be behind any corner, and you would be walking toward her unaware of the danger ahead. All of the sudden she would jump out and scare the pee right out of you!

There are so many stories I could tell, but here are just a few. We had moved into and old farm house when I was I think around 8 years old. This house needed a lot of work, but my dad being the amazing that he is has made that house look awesome. For three of the years during the remodel I was without a bed room. Not fun for a high school age girl. I would either make my bed on the couch or bring out a foam mattress and sleep on the floor. I was unaware that my mother had been watching me and learning my night time routine. I would make up my bed, go wash my face and brush my teeth, and then turn the lights out and crawl into bed. On one such night I did my nightly routine and crawled in to bed and to my horror felt something in my bed. The house is pitch black and I can't see what it is, all I know is that there is something in my bed. It's a good thing there wasn't anything close that I could use to pummel whatever was in the bed. I heard the hysterical laughing and knew my mother was at it again. You can bet I double checked my bed every time after that to make sure nothing was hiding in there. It would take a long time for my heart rate to come down and finally be able to fall asleep.

Another one of my mother's finest moments: We had just pulled in the driveway. It was pitch black outside. My mom is still sitting in the drivers seat and waits until all of us kids have gotten out of the car and stars yelling, "What is that! What is that out there!" We live in the country and I have had this fear of being drug off by animals into the darkness and never being heard from again. I couldn't get into that car fast enough. I think I even locked the doors. Animals can open car doors you know! When I heard the very distinctive sound of my mother's hysterical laughter I knew that she got us again. There are so many more stories I could tell but you get the hint of how I lived my childhood.

All of the times that I have been scared in my younger days has made me a very jumpy person.  My husband is constantly scaring me and he doesn't even mean to. He is a really quiet person and I won't even hear him come into the room. I will just turn around and he will be there, or he will say something in that deep voice of his and scare the bejeebers right out of me. As I am yelling at him or he is dodging whatever it is I throw at him for scaring me, he says, "Couldn't you hear me coming?" No, I didn't! The man makes no noise whatsoever when he walks. I don't think his feet really even touch the ground! He just hovers! I did not come from a quiet family whatsoever. I think I am going to tie a bell around his neck or make him walk around with a packet of tic tacs in his pocket (name that show).

You would think that now that I have children I would know that scaring them is not a good idea and can cause them to turn into very jumpy adults. But I just can't help my self! I one time accidentally scared Connor and it was all over for me. The look on his face and the way he jumped off the ground was too much to not want to see again. So, now my children get to live in fear of what corner mom by be hiding behind next. All I have to say is that I learned from the best, so watch out kids!

Mi Familia - Part 2

The Siblings-

Sibling #1 Melody

  • Fellow pale skinned red head
  • Suffers from Middle Child Syndrome
  • Still harbors bitterness that she never had a lunch pail and never got to be on the Ramblin Rod show. Sibling #2 and I like to remind her that we both had lunch pails and got to be on the Ramblin Rod show several times.
  • Has chronic tripping issues and by that I mean she trips on the air while she is walking, throws her arms behind her, falling completely to the ground, and finishing with a tuck and roll. This has been the source of many good stories.
  • Roommate for far too many years
  • Turned out to be one of my bestest friends
  • Sweetest person you would ever meet
  • Great shopping buddy
  • Great to laugh with (and sometimes at)

Sibling #2 Douglas

  • The outnumbered boy of the family
  • Subjected to musicals and being dressed up by his older sisters for most of his younger years
  • Used to think boys wore one piece bathing suits to go swimming (see number two). He wouldn't wear swim trunks because he thought he was being immodest by letting his top half show.
  • Is nowadays referred to as the life of the party
  • Fun lovin
  • The only one of the siblings that can actually tan
  • His voice gets louder the more excited he gets which causes my quiet Melancholy husband to say things like "Dude, I am right here."
  • Directionally challenged
  • Great shopping buddy
  • Could not whisper to save his life

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Mi Familia - Part 1

So I have been thinking about whipping out some of our famous family stories. These are the ones we like to whip out at parties and family functions to get a laugh out of people. But before I get to the stories here is some background on the family.

The Parents-

Terry aka my Dad

  • Hardest working man ever
  • Bob the Builder to the Extreme- The man can build absolutely anything
  • Uses swear words like "kraut"
  • Can not tell a joke correctly to save his life, therefore leaving his family staring at him and wondering what in the world he was talking about.
  • Not good with boats (there's a story behind that)
  • Not a good shopping buddy
  • My sons look a like
  • The lone Choleric/Melancholy in a sea of Phlegmatic/Sanguines. I am the only one in the family that has a personality most like his, thus labeling me the "Golden Child"
  • Completely powerless against his granddaughters charms (Yes, I will be using that to my advantage)
Angey aka my Mom

  • Great Shopping buddy
  • Loves a good practical joke, mainly ones that involve her hiding and then jumping out and scaring her children. Or rolling the front passenger window down when her teenage daughter is in the front seat and yelling at the young guy in the drivers seat of the car next to said daughter, and embarrassing teenage daughter very much. (Been there, many times)
  • Introduced her kids to the wonderful world of musicals
  • Loves to sing songs from said musicals with her children, much to the chagrin of the choleric/melancholy dad of the family.
  • Her grand children's wish is her command
  • One of my bestest friends
  • Amazing whistler

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I think I need an intervention

On Friday my husband and I went to the big city (Canby) and got me a new cell phone. I admit I was only a little excited at first. Technology is a little scary for me sometimes. My old phone was quite ancient and really not technological at all. So when I walked in the store I felt a little overwhelmed. Thankfully my wonderful friend Nicole and her husband came to help me out, so I didn't have to walk through the store with the deer in the headlights look. After looking at a couple different types of phones I decided I wanted one with a touch screen. That narrowed it down to five or so different phones. When it was pointed out to me that one of the phones could also be used as a Kindle I screamed in delight and did a cartwheel and said I would take that one! Just kidding about the cartwheel. But, I did squeal with delight.

I have not stopped playing with my phone since Friday. I LOVE it! In fact, I tell my phone that I love it several times a day. I may have even referred to it as my best friend a time or two.  My husband is concerned and I think a little jealous. There are just so many wonderful things I can do on that blessed phone, like reading books, looking up recipes, (theres and app for that) checking facebook without having to leave the comfort of my couch, and so much more. But the thing I find that takes up most of my time is that darn bejeweled game. It is addicting I tell ya. I just can't stop playing it. I see the little jewels every time I close my eyes. This can't be good for me.

If you never hear from me again, now you know why.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The not so fun trip to the Florida Keys

When I was a teenager I had acne pretty bad. I went through lots of different cleansers and medications to get it taken care of. Most of these medication had side effects that were pretty low key, mostly just drying out my skin, until the new one I started taking right before our vacation to the Florida Keys. The prescription bottle said not to be in direct sunlight while you are taking the medication. This would be a problem seeings how we were headed to the sunshine state. We asked the pharmacist what the side effects would be and she said I would probably just sun burn easier. I am a fair skinned red head and am no stranger to the sun burn, so I didn't worry about it too much.

Day one of our trip I decide I am going to go lay out on the beach outside of our condo. I don't know why I did that. I never ever tan. I burn and then turn white again. My son has inherited my skin coloring, he also has white hair, we call him the translucent boy. Anyways. So I layed out in the sun for a while until the heat and humidity become unbearable (about 15 minutes). Later that night I started feeling all itchy. I looked at my arms and I had little red dots on them. We thought they were bug bites. My uncle said it might be from sand fleas. Well, that right there would keep me awake all night as I thought of little fleas coming out of the sand to nibble on me.

The next morning we hit the road and headed to Key West. On the way there my lips started feeling strange. "Mom, are my lips swelling?" I say. And she turns around and laughs and says yes, they are totally swollen, and my fingers were starting to swell and resemble little sausages. We knew something was definitely wrong. We called my doctor back home and she said it sounded like I was having an allergic reaction to the medication I took. I needed to find a doctor right away and get a steroid shot and benadryl before my throat closes and I die. So, here we are in tropical paradise, I am swelling more and more every second and we have to hunt for a doctor. My mom and I went searching for a doctor while the rest of my family toured the island. The first doctor turned out to be some guy that fixed bicycles and handed out Viagra (they called him Captain Courageous), so we searched for another one. We finally found a clinic and I was given a steroid shot (which I was very concerned would make me grow a beard or chest hair. I don't want to me a man! Fortunately it did not.) I was also given a shot of benadryl.

We left the clinic and went to go find the rest of the family. After we walked for a while I looked down at my shoes and my ankles were so swollen that they were completely overlapping my shoes and socks. It was cankles to the extreme. I had to get my shoes off right away. We bought me a pair of sandals so that my feet could keep expanding with out my shoes getting in the way.  Needless to say I was miserable about now. I was still itchy and the little red dots had turned into horrible looking welts that itched so bad I could hardly stand it. I am shocked I didn't strangle anybody.

We eventually found the rest of the family and decided we would go eat some lunch so I could sit down and be out of the heat. By the time we were done eating my feet were so completely swollen and the most horrible shade of purple you had ever seen. I couldn't even walk, they hurt so bad. My uncle had to carry me to the car. For the rest of our stay in the Keys I had to stay completely indoors. We were there for a couple more days and then we traveled to North Carolina to visit my Grandparents. While we were there I started having horrible chest pains, I thought for sure I was having a heart attack. We ended up in the ER and I had to get an EKG. They couldn't figure out what was causing the chest pains, but it must have been something with the steroids or the medication I was trying to get out of my system. I don't know for sure. After staying with my grandparents for about a week or so we headed back to Florida to finish our wonderful ( I am being sarcastic) vacation. I still couldn't be in the sun so I basically stayed indoors and watched cable TV while my little brother got to do everything. He even went fishing and caught a baby hammerhead shark. Whatever Douglas.

My throat never did close up and I didn't die. We all made it home safe and sound. Although I must say that the Florida Keys will forever be tainted in my memory. I can't see myself ever going back. Oh, and my acne eventually went away too. And no, it wasn't because of the medication that caused this whole adventure.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Big Road

So let me just begin by saying that I am not an adventurous person at all. My most recent adventure was roller skating - I know, I'm a wild woman.  I am also not a big fan of change. I don't like anything different. I almost hyperventilate if I have to grocery shop any where else than where I usually go. I practically wander around the store with a confused look on my face wondering how I got there and what aisle I should start in. So after living my whole life (24 years) in a small town, in a old farm house in the country, I got married and moved to the big city-Wilsonville. Talk about culture shock. I had to grocery shop at strange and foreign stores like Albertsons. I had to go to a brand new library. But the worst of all was that I had to find a new route to the mall. 

I would start out by hopping on the free way (I-5, I just had to ask my husband what that road was called) and then exit onto 205. I would continue driving on 205 until I saw the exit for Oregon City. I would then exit the freeway turn around in Home Depot's parking lot and get back on the freeway. Little did I know I was getting right back on the freeway I had just exited. I thought I was getting on a brand new road that would take me to the mall. One day  I decided I would be brave and adventurous and see where this big road (205) would take me if I went passed the Oregon City exit. Lo, and behold, I ended up at the mall! I was shocked and completely embarrased with myself when I realized I had been exiting and then getting right back on the same freeway.

When I got home and told my husband what I had discovered he just stared at me and shook his head. I don't think he knew how to respond to what I had just told him. He then asked me if when I was leaving the mall (before my great discovery) I got off the freeway at Oregon City, and then got right back on . I thought about that a minute and then realized that no, I stayed on 205 the whole time until I had to get back on I-5. Apparently the big road could take me home but not to the mall. That is when I felt really really stupid.  Now everytime I got to the mall I remember my embarrasing discovery and have to laugh at myself all over again. I am so glad we moved back to the country and I can drive on familiar roads again!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It's important to stop and think

When you have children it is very important  to stop and think, especially when they say things that may sound off the wall to you. The odd statement or question usally is something that makes total sense when you stop and think.

For example, I had just put Connor down for his nap when I hear him calling me back into his bedroom. When I got back there he says to me, "will the germs choke me and then I die?" Sounds very bizarre and off the wall right? I asked him to repeat what he just asked me and then looked at him puzzled. I was about to tell him that germs would not choke him and make him die, and then tell him to go to sleep. But then I stopped and thought about it. We had recently had a conversation that was mostly about me telling him not to eat his boogers, that they are covered in germs. He was in his own way making sure that if he ate his booger he wouldn't be choked from the germs and die. I don't know where the choking part came in, I promise I did not threaten him with that. After stopping and thinking I told him that he would not die, but that he also is not allowed to eat his boogers, its disgusting.

I didn't ask him if he ate his booger after I left, but now that the threat of death was no longer an issue I would guess that he probably did. The next time the small child in your life asks you something strange....stop and think, it may make total sense after all.

He's just like his momma

For the most part when I look at my son I think, "Man, he is just like his father." But today I had a moment where I thought to myself, "Nope, he's definitely like his mother."

Making sure he gets all of the whipped cream.

I probably would of joined him but that would have meant another workout with Jillian and I just couldn't handle that again today. We bought her yoga meltdown video and did it this morning. Scott thinks she should have devil horns.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The New Fad

I know you all have been on pins and needles wondering what new thing Connor is going to love next. Well, its arrived and it is one I was not excpecting......the garbage truck, or grawbage truck in Connor's words. It all started with a DVD from the library called Charlie the garbage truck. It was love at first sight. He has now been playing "garbage truck" any chance he can get. I didn't even know you could make garbage trucks into a game. Because he doesn't have any real garbage trucks yet, he has dubbed a few semi trucks his garbage trucks. They are the special ones that his sister is not allowed to even look at with longing. He is using pieces of freight and the Sodor mail bag from his Thomas train sets for the trash.

So yesterday he tells me he wants to buy a "grawbage truck." We dump all the money out of his piggy banks and while I am counting it, I thought now would be a good time to mention tithing to Connor. I tried to explain tithe as well as I could to a four year old. He said he didn't mind giving some of his money to Jesus as long as he didn't have to sing. Apparently he is not a fan of the praise and worship.

After we counted his money we went online to see if they even make garbage truck toys; they do and they range from $5 (the baby ones that he is not interested in) to $75 (of course those are the ones he wants). I showed him the ones that are in his price range and I think he found a few he liked. He then very excitedly asked me if we could look at "grawbage" bags next. I told him they don't make garbage bags for kids to play with, they are dangerous. He was very sad about that. They do however make little plastic garbage cans for the trucks to pick up, unfortunately they only go with the $75 garbage truck. He will have to stick with the Sodor mail bag and plastic logs for now.

Of course he asked me to draw him a garbage truck today, apparently my art skills haven't deterred him from asking things like that of me. I finally wised up and looked online for a picture of a garbage truck. I struck gold and found a website that had coloring pictures of them. I also found a show on NETFLIX about how garbage trucks are made. And because I am a glutton for punishment,or just really love my son, I saved it for Connor. And yes, he loved it.

Tomorrow is trash day and Connor is already asking if he can go out and talk to the trash man. I told him we would just wave from the window.

I had to add this picture this morning. He has been waiting by the window since he got up.

We did wave at the garbage man and he waved back. Connor's new goal in life is to be a garbage man when he grows up.