Thursday, August 22, 2013

I'm gonna need a nap

Well friends, it's 3:05 in the morning here and I have a big day ahead of me so the sane thing to do would be sleeping but since that is just not happening I decided to blog instead. Turns out January is the last time I blogged, for those of you who have given up all hope of me ever blogging again, your day has been made...or I just like to let myself think that.

So what is my reason for being up so late? My darling of a husband....I love that man but he has some strange and annoying sleeping habits that keep his light sleeping wife awake until all hours of the night. Okay, and maybe it was the pepsi I had earlier today, but that was at 5:00pm and I shouldn't be feeling the effects of that caffeine now should I? So what are the strange things my husband does in his sleep? Well for starters he snores, not so strange, I know, but it is sure annoying. I have realized though, that all I have to do to stop the snoring is push on his shoulder and he will roll over and the snoring stops. Some nights I shove a little harder than others depending on how many times I have had to get him to stop snoring. Some mornings he mentions that his arm is sore and I just give him the concerned wife look and act sympathetic. "Gee honey, I have no idea why your shoulder would be sore."

My husband is also a teeth grinder. I was first introduced to the grinding of teeth by a friend I had in high school. We had a sleep over and I was awakened by this God awful noise. When I realized the noise was coming from my friend I tried to make it stop, but you just can't! It was terrible and I really had to convince myself that she was a nice girl and I should still be her friend despite the sleep she made me lose. You see, sleep is one of my most favorite things to do. I look forward to it very much and would choose taking a nap over pretty much anything else in the world. When things make me lose my sleep nice Amy quickly disappears and you don't even want to see what the other Amy is like.

I found out my husband was a teeth grinder on our honeymoon. I was sleeping a beautiful sleep and then this horrible sound shattered my precious slumber. My first thought was, squeaky shoes? I wasn't fully awake yet, but when I finally did wake up I realized the sound was coming from my new and wonderful husband. And then I realized I married a teeth grinder. He didn't seem so wonderful after that. I really love my husband, but like I said my love for sleep is a close second, if not tied in first. How do you make the grinding stop? Ten years and I still don't know what to do.

The last thing he does is when he lays on his back he will slide his feet up the mattress and his knees will be in the air. He will then slowly lower his legs back down causing the whole bed to shake. And then repeat the whole thing over again. When I feel his legs start to go back up I just kick them back down, sometimes gently, sometimes not, depending on how late in the night it is. If he ever complains about his calves being sore I just paste on the concerned wife look and pretend to be innocent of anything that could cause his discomfort.

So my friends, for these reasons, and just the plain fact that I love sleeping....I will be taking a nap today


  1. ask him to try wearing a mouthguard like they do on football. ALSO...tie his legs down after he's asleep.�� serious about the mouthguard.

  2. I am smiling a mile wide. Both you and your mom blogging in the same day. Oh the joy.

    I'm sure your hubby can cartoon that for you.

  3. As a fellow lover of sleep, I feel your pain! I may just have to take a nap on your behalf ;)